Monday, June 27, 2011

Meandering conflicts!

Uncertain routes and silent highways
and a choice to be made at every crossroad
I sit down and I think of all the ways
left behind and the ones I have ahead

I wonder how and whys of every step taken
Yet I walk the same path again..
and fall at all the same turns..
and count it as a learning that wont go away..

I still look for support at the every bend
and turn every stone upside down
to read the scriputers left behind for me
I try and interpret the music of breeze

Yet as alowly the paths gone by fade
and I stand in the shadow of dusk
slowly enveloping me in its warm embrace
I yearn to walk again...

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Reminiscence !

Unanswered, untouched...there are silent whisperings
which flow with the warm breeze slowly..
I look across the deep blue skies for a few moments
and close my eyes with memories...

They are within me, yet I stand outside
and watch as they unfold with a stranger's viewpoint
I wish I could mould them, yet I am impassive
as watch the colours mingle and fade away!

I smile and I laugh, I squirm and I cry
as the snapshots pass by, Was it a mirage?
or reality of illusions....I ask away questions
I wish to hold the sand, as it slowly slips away!

I watch them leave me as I open my eyes
to embrace the new ones, which I need to have
as the moments silently slip by
and I change from the spectator to the actor!!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

College days and the bus rides!!

This post is dedicated to three great years at BMMMC- to decode the terminology, bachelor's of Mass Media and Mass Communication ( There is no honours in the name of the degree :P). The first thing I remember very distinctly from the first ever speech given to us was the term 'bra-burning' protests as the part of the feminist revolution happening around the world, for someone who didnt even used to see MTV videos ( for I was studying for those elusive 90 percentages in boards), I was glad this would be different and that it completely turned out to be :)

From watching films morning to evening, to acting like snobs when walking in the campus area, sneering at other courses (I wont say I am proud, but yeah that was fun :P), from being called as a batch to prinicipal's office every other day to the shoots and ideation sessions! It was never ending course work. The vicious fights over work, to writing scripts and searching for people who would work for us without money, to directing a final film :P..

In the midst of many gradual transformations happening and getting used to the idea of a girl's college were the people I met, who remain close friends till date ! Here there needs to be a special mention to the bus rides- and the two people involved in the same- Shaina and Shekha!!

The Endless waiting for DTC busses to come, to save 10 bucks everyday to Shaina providing us everyday laughter particularly 'THE FLYING INCIDENT' where in a crowded bus as the driver suddenly put his foot on the brake and it screeched to halt, Miss Kumar as she believed in travelling without holding the handle above, flew from where she was standing to hitting the Iron rod just before the exit gate, about 5m distance ( I am sure it really hurt her but no one could stop laughing :P) and the entire bus burst out laughing only remembering later to ask her if that hurt (Doesnt show me and shekha as being very good friends, but then such was the sight!)

I still get tears in my eyes laughing whenever I remember the incident and a sigh of relief when I remember the crazy deadlines for the projects, where all the photocopy and binding people had a lot of fun at our expense!! Thanks a ton Kamna, shekha, shaina, vartikka, shampee, misra, akansha for all the fun!!

Monday, January 31, 2011


Slowly rhythmically it burnt
with just a quiver..
the air was filled with smoke
behind the unseen wafts of ashes
It was there..

Was it the celebration of change?
It wondered sarcastically
or just the curiosity of transformation
the definition of meaning
was still cluttered with euphemisms...

Silently it saw everything melt away
unknown unfelt into nothingness
with just its musings left behind
and the promise of beginnings
It closed its eyes...

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Birthday post!- self discovery...

It wasn't the dampness of the still wet corner or the sulky winter evening, it was just me or the effect of seeping coldness that everything was transformed. The only thing left untouched was somehow me, as I started analyzing my years of being essentially me and my choices, myriad collages of memories started forming. Years of careful studying at school instead of careless fun, going through the teenage years of anxiety and frustration, with always the complex that I am not pretty like the other girls around me because as the neighbourhood aunty said "the girl is dark and intelligence isnt really required, what will happen?". Its been some journey so far...

Doing graduation in a course that was looked down, because it wasn't the usual to finding a side to me that was yet unknown through the films that I saw, the friends that I made, the work I did, I am still indebted to mass communication for making me who I am to doing MBA, it's been many croosroads...

From being unsure about me to being in relationships, having my heart broken to being the cause of someone's ill health, from trusting blindly to being cautious at every step and from being a believer in love to a cynic.. Its been years of growing up yet still being the same.

From wishing to being a poet to doing marketing :P, from a loner to having great friends, from inferiority complex to confidence in being me, a lot of passages have been covered, yet there are more complex ones still left to untangle. I am still searching to understand me, I guess that's a bit too long a process to end in just 25 years...

Thanks for being with me at any step of this journey..I know its not easy but I am not that difficult either :)